Brainfreeze

Although everything seems to go okay, I'm still frustrated by so many things.

I can't seem to write new lyrics. I haven't got idea's or things that happened to me which I could convey in a song. And my English is too poor to make a nice song.

Yet the strange thing is that I know that those songs will come. Mr.Immovable is still a song I enjoy singing and playing. And I just wrote it when I got a sudden burst of inspiration. Two hours of work, and there it was!

But it's so simple and easy. I want songs which sound somewhat stranger. And we have a couple of chords and rhythm which are strange. But it takes time to turn those into a song. And I do not have the patience. I want to perform I want to know whether or not people genuinely like the music I make!

So I've been studying Chopin's Preludes. They are wonderful, and hard. I will try to learn most of them during my vacation. But concentration takes huges chunks of energy; every single time I play I feel like I'm being drained.

But on the bright side; we do got four songs which are almost done (all of them are missing the lyrics which we need to add soon). And there are a couple waiting (another one is finished, but Roemer can't remember that he liked it. For fuck sake, we played it for half an hour and were playing like we never did before. How the hell did he forget that song!).

Music is strange

It really is.

I couldn't create any new songs for the past week. And I almost became frustrated and pessimistic about everything. Then I got the chance to play with a friend of mine, Anna Mae. And what do you know, there they were! Three new songs.

After playing with her, I played for an hour and a half with Roemer. And we created this insane simple but delicious short song. It consists of four major chords. And we played like crazy, and I sang like crazy (I even discovered I could put on a raw voice without damaging my voice much). We finished after playing the song for ten minutes, then I just didn't have a voice (I discovered that damaging your voice not much is still noticeable), and I felt tired. We quickly decided that this song should be recorded and Mr.Immovable should be recorded. So we will record them and put them on youtube within a few weeks :).

As I said music is strange.

Mr.Immovable

Mr.Immovable is finished, I played it with Roemer (the drummer of my band) for over an hour. Been singing it too, and I feel good about it. It's a sweet song, a bittersweet fantasy tale.

Next week I want to make a video-clip for it, using just paper, a pen, and frame by frame shooting with a camera. I want it so fucking bad. Damn.

You know when an idea gets stuck inside your head at night? And you want to see if the result is to be compared to what you had in mind? That's how I am now. No camera in sight, though there's plenty of paper to be found.

I also want to try out my guitar songs on the piano, and then change them. And when there are five songs (or more. More is good). I want to perform. A lot. A awful lot. Experience. Experience. Needed. So. Bad. Dot.

I am completely obsessed by the Dresden Dolls. I'll admit. Their music inspires me, Amanda's blog inspires me, their whole style and way of performing is fabulous. When I finish the video-clip I'll most definitely send it to them. No chance they will see it, but nonetheless, I can always try.

And to make everything even better, Frauke will listen to our music next week. She plays the cello, and I want her in the band. I'll be in heaven when a cellist plays in my band. That would make the band even more of a quirk than it already is right now.

I want to do so many things, but I've got so little time. I want to work my ass off in the vacation; play with lots of bands, visit performances of other people, play for people, talk with people about music. Breath music. Would be great.

Scary shit

It's 01:27 and the bulb in my room just exploded. This is the second one that exploded out of the three that have gone to smithereens the past six months.

My heart needed a good five minutes to stop pounding....

And now I need to turn on a light, so I can scrape the pieces of glass of the floor. I'm completely freaked out right now, I hate exploding objects..

I like blogging, it gives me a space where I can vent all my thoughts, feeling, and so fort.

So now I am filling with inspiration, it's almost midnight, and I just wrote half a song which doesn't even sound half as bad as all the other crap I produced on guitar.

It's about Mr. Immovable. I was hugely inspired by a blog written by Amanda (Dresden Dolls Amanda) who wrote about her lover (?) being immobilized because of an illness. Luckily he was cured after a couple of weeks. I loved the idea of someone being immobilized and someone loving that person to death. So I wrote a song about it, which doesn't express a lot, but does make it sound sweet. I also want to use this song as a tribute.

Now I only need to write a chorus and a nice ending...